YOU DON’T HAVE TO PERFORM AT YOUR OWN WEDDING
I was a bride once. And my biggest regret isn't the flowers I chose or the timeline that ran long. I wish I'd asked for fewer posed photos and more just living in the day — and in not doing that, I missed real time with the people I love. Dinner around a shared table. Quiet moments with my family. The kind of time you can't get back.
I was already a photographer when I got married. But being on the other side of the camera changed something. It's one thing to believe in natural moments — it's another to feel what it costs when you don't have them.
THE GROOM WHO’S DREADING PHOTOS
If you're reading this, there's a good chance one of you is more nervous about the photo portion of your wedding day than the other. Maybe it's the groom who'd rather be on the dance floor. Maybe it's the bride who's never felt comfortable in front of a camera. Maybe it's both of you, quietly hoping it goes fast.
I want you to know something: that feeling is completely normal, and it doesn't have to be your experience.
The groom I photograph isn't being asked to smile for an hour straight. He's not being pulled away from his groomsmen or asked to leave the dance floor. He's living his wedding day — and I'm there to catch it.
POSING IS HARD, PRESENCE ISN’T
Here's what I've learned after eight years: the answer isn't better posing. It's movement.
Not big, choreographed movement. The smallest thing. When you're getting ready, actually apply your lipstick — I'll be there. Let your mom button your dress the way she naturally would instead of stopping so I can set up the shot after. Groom, take that moment with your groomsmen — I'm not going to interrupt it, I'm going to photograph it.
Those moments are already happening on your wedding day. I'm just asking you to actually live them instead of pausing for a staged version of them.
WHAT I’M ACTUALLY DOING WHILE YOU’RE NOT LOOKING
Your wedding day is full of real emotion. You've spent months, maybe years, planning for this one day with the people you love most in the same room. I don't need to manufacture feeling — it's already everywhere.
My job is to guide you into living those moments, not performing them. When I ask the two of you to take a slow walk, it's not a pose — it's an excuse to be alone together for five minutes while I disappear into the background. When I ask him to whisper something in your ear, I'm not directing a photo. I'm getting out of your way so something real can happen.
The couples who leave their wedding day saying that was actually fun are never the ones who tried hardest to look good. They're the ones who forgot I was there.
YES, WE’LL DO PORTRAITS — HERE’S HOW I THINK ABOUT THEM
I believe in taking time for your couples portraits. Those photos matter — they're the ones that go on your wall, that your kids will look at someday, that you'll reach for when you want to remember who you were together on that day.
But here's something couples often forget: you're together all day. The way he looks at you during the ceremony, the hand he reaches for between toasts, the two minutes you steal alone before you walk back into the reception — those are couples photos too. I'm capturing you as a unit from the moment I arrive.
The dedicated portrait time is just one part of that. You don't have to choose between beautiful photos and being present at your own wedding. That's a false choice, and it's one I work hard to make sure my couples never have to make.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't ask you to pose. I ask you to be present — and I take care of the rest. That might mean a slow walk, a quiet moment together, or just laughing at something I said. You don't have to know what to do. That's my job.
The best wedding photos don't look like wedding photos. They look like a day that actually happened — full of real people, real moments, and real feeling. That's what I'm after. And it starts with you giving yourself permission to just be there.
If you're curious what this looks like in practice, come find me on Instagram at @ashleyflorencephoto. And when you're ready to talk about your day, I'd love to hear about it.
